Envy Part 2

When losing yourself you tend to do weird things. WHen there is no peace anywhere you tend to go crazy. Home for me was getting worse, and now my safe space was corrupted. So corrupted that i had to brainwash myself into thinking it was safe. Into thinking that i needed it and that everything was going to be ok. Life was a fairy tail to me.I was locking myself away. After J had apologized to me and i tried to forgive him. I just couldnt trust him again. I knew i didnt love him anymore. But i hated being home more than anything. So i compromised i still hung around but i just stayed in his room or in his face to seem like i was there for his company.I was really there to avoid my problems. Everything was going really good but then she came around. We will call her K. She was a really kind person honestly. Now that i think about it all the weird shit i did to her i wish i hadnt done. Honestly it wasnt her fault. I mean talking shit was definantly her fault, and her thinking she can whoop my ass was also her fault but one thing i learned about self love is you dont have to bring another person down to make yourself feel better. I did every thing in the world to try to bring this girl down because she was invading my corrupted safe space. I remember telling J anygirl he thinks hes going to leave me for im going to beat up. He had begged me to be with him so i felt like if he cared about these bitches hurting them would hurt him. I knew i couldnt beat his ass but i knew i could fuck a bitch up with no problem. So he brought K around me with the impression that she was just a friend. I had found a job and i was a cheerleader so i wouldnt have to spend my time around places where i was uncomfortable. The job was for me to have securtiy. If i was to get put out of my parents house i knew i had money for a hotel and food. So when i was busy at those places she ws at his house. And as she was leaving i would come over. I was able to spend the night because my parents honestly didnt want me in the house. Probably more than i didnt want to be there. So im oblivious to everything for the time being. So since I'm just thinking they are friends i added the girl on snapchat because since they was friends i wanted to be cool too.I only had added her on SC though. But i always had a gut feeling. Like something in the back of my mind was like someone playing with me,someone making a fool out of me. I would have weird dreams of some person with no face stabbing me in the back like almost everynight. But i continued life as usual because i dont know who would be trying to hurt me. But i knew it was someone close. So one day her instagram popps up in my suggested and i follow her. Her page was private so i couldnt see anything until she accepted. But until then it was valentines day. J wanted me to come over and spend the night with him after work. Which i did.When I had got there K was there too but since her sister dated his brother i figured she was just there to hang. You know parents be like where one sibling go the other one follows. So I tell her accept my follow request on IG. She didnt do it until she had left . I had went out and bought him a $100 sweater. He got me some chocolate covered stawberries and balloons. It made me happy. He had got his cousin to also go out and buy us some liquour. We got drunk that night and had wild nasty teenage sex. I was hypersexual as fuck at the time we fucked about 7 times that night. In his room, bathroom, the living room, even his momma room while she was at work. I remember my pussy being so sore it was swollen and this nigga still wanted to keep going. But i had told him i couldnt no more. Later that night after we was finishing doing what we was doing and i check instagram . I noticed she had accepted and followed me back. I look on her page and low and behold there it was. The backstab. I dont know why but my heart sank down to my stomach. My chest litteraly felt like it exploded. Got up and went into his bathroom and threw up. J comes rushing in the bathroom. "Are you okay"? he askes franticly. "Yeah im fine" i could barely get the words out. I walk out the bathroom and he was standing by the door waiting for me to come out. As soon as i saw his face i busted out into tears. He began to hold me. "Whats the matter with you?" J asked me. "I just dont wanna go home tomorrow" I lied, and didnt say anything for the time being. I went back in his room and he held me while i cried until i fell asleep. The next morning i got up showered and went to work. This is where my obsession began. While on the bus i looked at her ig page. I looked at the pictures of them together. I read the comments. I even waited until her ig story popped up and probably was the first one to watch it. I did it everyday. I did it at work , at school, at home while i laid in bed at night. She had alot of pictures of them. She posted them almost all the time. I started going over there less than I use to. And of course J found that to be odd because he knew i just had to be under him. But I still wasnnt saying anything. I guess i was plotting and planning. They where going to get theres soon and i was going to make sure of it.