Envy part 1

When I was 15 I felt like i was really at the darkest point in my life. My parents and I werent getting along. I basically hated my mother. She was a horrible person to me, and my father basically was just a lap dog to her. I seen him as less than a man but her pet. My brothers werent on my side at all either. They were the fakest of the fake to me saying one thing and then turning around and kissing my parents ass after. I needed a safe space i needed refuge. And thats when i met him. He was a friend of one of my closest friends today. Who knew he wouldve took me on a rollercoaster that i never asked to be on. We are going to call him J because hes the biggest joke ive ever met in my life. But before my eyes opened he was the love of my life at one point.We spent almost every second together. My parents liked him because he was the same sign as them. Which shouldve been red flag number one for me.But anyways he was good at wearing a mask. He was bringing me everything I wanted and the thing i wanted most was a loving family. He had that . He brung me around them and they where really good people to me. His mom opened up their home to me anytime i needed. Gave me a shoulder to cry on, vent my feelings and be apart of something. They didnt judge me and at one point I even thought they loved me like one of there own. So I really clung to him. Everything was really rainbows and butterflies in the beggining. So much so that i can say that I probably was the problem. But i was too blinded by the selfishness and wanting to feel whole that i didnt care. He was making me happy and thats all that mattered. Every day after school id hop on the train to go see him. And id stay there the whole day until around 11 at night. I talked to J about everything. My dreams my fears my comforts. And he told me his. i knew all his family tea and i really thought that we were going to be together forever. He felt alone like i did. Even though his family was big and welcoming to me he said he felt the same way that i did. Shunned like the black sheep . He said everyone talked bad about him and made fun of him accept for his mother and his sister.Which made me wanted to be around him more. But the more we was around eachother the more mean and irritated i began to get. I felt entitled . I felt like since i gave him everything he wanted all of his time was to me. I really didnt communicate with his cousins and everyone else i sat alone in a different room. Because basically everyone got these smiling ass faces on but ya cousin done told me all yall business. I never really understood why he would always drag me along to go to them family events because i couldnt sit there and pretend. But like i said after spending so much time together we started arguing a whole lot. It was either because i didnt get my way or things wasnt going my way i can admit that . But basically i was taking care of him like his momma was. Spending my pay checks to buy him shoes, clothes , weed anything he asked for. And all i wanted was his time. So he had this "Sister" who wasnt really his sister. See him and his older sister had different fathers and the sisters daddy had another daughter like around our age. He had told me once before that he almost fucked her. Which was weird as fuck to me because if thats your sister sister and she bringing her around like she your sister then you suppose to play big brother right. Well He wasnt doing that he was playing freaky step brother. So Im reading they messages after the argument. Here he is saying straight corney shit. "I shouldve kissed you when i had the chance" "You looked real good" "Howed it feel when my dick rubbed up agaist you". What made it even worse was shawdy was straight falling for it. So i went on twitter to see what she looked like before i got to harrassing her. There was actually nothing wrong w her she was a lil funny looking to me at the time cause one thing i could say when i was that age I was a bad ass bitch. She had that tlc mushroom hair cut and a fat nose and light skin . I didnt say nothing to her at first i just followed her on twitter so i can look. But then this bitch started to talk to me trying to be friendly. Sending me messages complementing me and shit. So in my mind im like this duck ass bitch think im stupid or something. You was just flirting with my man Your "brother" and now you trying be besties. So i texted her and was cussing her out. "Your bitch ass just triffling and dirty yall suppose to be brother and sister and you just dirty" Apparently the only thing she saw was me calling her a bitch because thats all she replied to. "Who you calling a bitch" she replied back i couldnt do nothing but laugh i sent her a whole bunch of laughing faces "Bitch bitch bitch bitch" is what i sent. She called her sister and had that fat hoe calling my phone "I dont know what you think this is or whatever you think youre doing but not with my sister because youll then hae a problem with me" I looked at my phone and chuckled "Okay well if youre sister wasnt being a triffling bitch then we wouldnt have a problem then" Then i hung up the phone because i dont know who she was sole called threatening. So i text the bitch she was scary for getting her big sis and not handling her own work then blocked her. 10 min later the big sis pull up to my nigga house trying to fight. Mind you this fat hoe like 25 and im 15 but i was always down to brawl fear no human fuck all that. So she come in the house asking her mom where im at and everything. I come out the room down stairs into the living room like Im right here whats up. Her mom was like "look you two i dont know whats going on but you two are not going to fight. if anything you need to check your sister because thats her brother and You dont fight no female over no man youre worth way more than that." And you know what she was right so i went up the stairs grabbed all my stuff , told the nigga i was done with him and went on home. By the next day he was blowing up my phone saying how much he needed me. He popped up at my house with flowers and chipotle and like the goofy i was I folded. I just wasnt ready to give up my safe space yet but the story isnt even about this girl. Its about another this was just a taste of what i went through. Wait on part two next week