An unknown number had texted me “unblock me”. I looked at my phone in shock “Bitch this nigga just texted me from i text free number” i said laughing into the phone at my facetime call. “Bitch which nigga” she replied grinning from ear to ear. “Bitch i dont know let me see” I said i had replied “Whos this” too the message and continued to talk on the phone. “Damn you must block alot of niggas huh, so you was just playing with me i thought you was my girl?” popped across the top of the screen. Immediately i knew who it was. “Its that damn scorpio nigga, hes going to be a problem”I said to my friend. I quickly unblocked him and then replied to the text “I didnt block you i don't know what youre talking about” I figured id play along because the dick was good enough to keep in my back pocket for a while.”I gotta go girl” i told my friend then i hung up the phone.I got dressed in some exercise clothes and walked to the track near my house. I turned on a playlist and then stated to do laps. One walking lap one jogging lap. As i did my laps i evaluated my life. Honestly i felt like it was some real shit right now. I was missing home so badly. I continued on until i hit about 4 miles of activity then i walked home. As soon as i step into the house my phone starts ringing. I look to see who it was . It was that scorpio nigga, i ignored it to get in the shower. I turned on some music put a face mask on and lit a candle. This is really so peaceful living alone. My emotions always switch from I miss home and I'm lonely and I'm glad that I'm down here. It was an odd feeling of confusion. But i told myself no matter how much i missed home that id never move back up there . Not without accomplishing something of myself first. As I let the face mask set I started to fill my bathtub with steaming hot water. I poured some lavender epsom salt and took a couple of scoops of raw coconut oil and put in the bath water as well. I turned on some chill music like the weekend and started to break down some weed. I wouldn't have been able to do this shit back in dc. Someone would've been sitting in my living room or even been sitting in the bathroom with me. I chuckled at the thought of my sister walking into the room just to keep my company. I opened the pack of backwoods and started to roll my weed jamming peacefully to the music. I turned the bath water off and mixed the epsom salt and oil into the water. I sat the lighter and the ashtray next to the tub. “Drugs check, music check, I definitely deserve this,” I said to myself. My phone had began ringing again interrupting my music. I threw my face rag and body rag into the water. “Hello” i said as i answered the phone not paying attention to who was even calling. I just wanted my music back on and to soak in the tub. “Damn bae, what you avoiding me or something” It was that persistent ass scorpio. “I'm not your girlfriend and I'm busy. '' I spat back over the phone. I was pretty frustrated because he was interrupting my me time. He was also pressing me over a issue we both know was bullshit. “You busy with other niggas?” he said back to me. It was annoying to me how much he was prying he know hes not my nigga its like you cant just fuck and be left aone any more nowadays. Men really show how emotional they are when you are not on their dicks how they want you to be. It bruises their ego especially when their misogynistic. I just hung up put my phone on do not disturb and turned my music back on. Me time was something i was just getting use to. I didnt want to let any nigga or any person for that matter get in the way of that. My friend often asked me what was i looking for? What was i after ?What was i looking to gain from sleeping with these men?She told me that I couldn't get any respect from doing what I was doing. But I wasn't looking for respect. Why couldn't I have senseless risky fun like men do. Why did my value lower based on consensual fun that we both agreed to have no feelings attached to? We didn't even have to know each other anymore; we just had that one night to get a nut. I stepped into the tub and sat back and relaxed into the soothing water as i hit my blunt. “This is peace huh”....
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